Script Exegesis

SCRIPT
Exegesis

            The script aims to depict the uncertain nature of dreams and how quickly good can go bad. The feel of the script is a bit of Alice in Wonderland meets the Wizard of Oz, the dreams allow a character to escape from their life however not all dreams are magical.

           The script is inspired by an Alana Grace song "Black Roses Red", thus the character name and script title. The flow of the script goes through varying levels of intensity much like a song. The haunting nature of the script ultimately cultivates into an uplifting climax.

           The first scene on the beach is aimed to establish the characters loving relationship. This scene allows for the audience to understand the love that the two characters share and why Rosie is desperate to stay in contact with the YOUNG MAN.

           The initial bedroom scene was created with the intension to establish a change from the ideal dream sequence to confusion. It also aimed to show Rosie's desperation in returning to the image of her loved one.

           Throughout the dream sequence in the forest/field there is an air of the unknown. Although not always negative the aim of these scenes are that we are in Rosie's nightmare.

          The main action is placed in an ambiguous setting off a field, beach or forest. Although generic settings these lay a ground work for the non specific nature of dreams. The simplicity of the settings allows for the audience to focus on the action whist the background still provides the basis of the mood. It remains unknown if Rosie has been to her surroundings before as it does not actively effect her actions or interests.

            Through ROSIE's desperation and spoken lines and screams the audience will come to understand that the YOUNG MAN has left her alone in the real world. Furthermore the pictures in her bedroom indicate that not only are they in a relationship but he is no longer there. Whether he is dead or merely at war is left up to the audience to decide. 

            The last scene where by which Rosie discovers that a rose petal is with her when she is awake surrounds the whole piece with mystery. The intention is to leave the audience wondering how blurred the lines between reality and dreams really are or if they exist at all.

           Through the critique that has been given I was able to better establish the couple's relationship and furthermore intensify the climax. Similarly I extended Rosie's breakdown so that the final scene in the field happened during the day time to give a peaceful and tranquil mood to the scene.

Analysis of Script

Analysis of Yvonne’s Script

By Mia Edmunds

As a whole this script flows very well as the atmosphere is intense and powerful while the situations remain realistic. A very clear picture is painted of what both the scenery and characters should look like. Visualising this piece is easy to follow as the descriptions are precise and common settings are in place. The dramatic build up to the final scene is slow enough to ensure a storyline whilst also being well paced to ensure dramatic tension. The captivating nature of the storyline was well delivered and could make for a dramatic piece of work.

However the script seems to be missing the intended sound design. I would suggest clarifying the difference of background sound that differs within the scenes especially in scenes with minimal dialogue. It could be as simple as music or the television set playing in the background in the house compared to the busyness of the bottle shop during the day. The pinnacle scene would be even more dramatic if the sound of the gunshot silenced the room, with silence then enclosing the friends as the hold each other’s gaze. 

The characterisation of the two main roles is well done however I would be interested to know why Ben is still friends with Jason when he disagrees with his lifestyle so much. Furthermore I feel that establishing their background would make Jason’s death more traumatic for both Ben and the audience.

The dialogue can sometimes get too wordy for these kinds of characters; I found that reading it I didn’t quite believe that they were in such a bad state as their speech is quite articulate and flowing. For instance I’m not sure if a heroin addict would use the phrase ‘quick smart’ or ‘it could really turn our lives around’. Maybe shorter sentences and simpler phrases would work better and clearly portray the socio economic background that the characters are placed in.

The scene set in Jason’s house during the day, could be extended to include the differences that can be seen in the house during the day time that was not present in the past night shot.  This scene could allow for an audience to empathise with Jason so his death hits them even harder. Perhaps it could be as simple as depicting the piles of overdue bills on the table and food cupboards empty. I feel this would allow for the audience to understand that his drug use may be a way of escaping his responsibilities rather than just being a drop kick drug addict.

Descriptions of the setting could be extended more to include the background action and the lighting that is evident in the room. This would be particularly helpful within the bottle shop scenes and the daytime scenes when more action would seemingly be present in their lives.

The ending could be possibly made more dramatic using intense imagery and facial expressions rather than dialogue. Jason’s last speech seems rather well delivered considering he is about to die. Perhaps Jason can barely choke out words as he tries desperately to apologize to his friend. I find that the descriptions between the dialogues are what make the scene so powerful rather than the dialogue itself. Similarly I think you need to spend a bit more time establishing the surroundings within the bottle shop.

As a project there may be too many lines of dialogue to comply with the requirements. Perhaps consider condensing some of the conversation between Ben and Jason. Lines such as Hold on I need another hit can be conveyed in imagery rather than speech. This could also increase the tension between the two friends as Ben can eye off Jason in a disapproving manner whilst Jason could remain oblivious to his friends disgust. Also the original scene between the landlord and Jason may not be essential rather it could be depicted through the avoidance of the landlord.

All in all I think this will make a great film and I am really interested in seeing it come to life.

Script - Black Rose

Ext. Beach - Day

A hot gleaming sun shines upon the glistening water of a long sprawling beach. The breeze rustles through the trees as the wave's crash melodically on the waterfront. The laughter of children is diluted by the chirps of birds and the light breeze.

Oblivious to all the action around, is a young women-ROSIE lying calmly on a beach towel. She is an attractive girl whose hair and make-up is impeccable. She is relaxed and comfortable in her own silence, lost in the words on the page that she is mouthing silently as she reads them.

Her solitude is interrupted by a YOUNG MAN shaking water from his body onto her dry face. The YOUNG MAN slumps down and begins to dry himself off as ROSIE turns to face him. Smiling brightly she hands him his sunglasses and hat before turns back to her book.

The YOUNG MAN smiles as he tries to capture her attention as he playfully nudges her. He continually tries to get her to get up and come to the water. He eventually resorts to flipping closed the book that she is reading. With a mocking angry glare ROSIE looks up, as the young man sheepishly retreats putting his hands up as if he were surrendering.

Throwing her head back in laughter ROSIE gets to her feet as her hair catches the breeze. She begins to chase him across the sand; they weave their way quickly through the scattered beach goers. Their quick footsteps on the wet sand thud lightly.

The YOUNG MAN slows and turns to run backwards, to purposely allow for ROSIE to catch him. She laughs lightly as she tackles him to the sand.

He catches her gently as they fall; they share a knowing gaze, as if to say that there is nobody else in this world at this moment. Smiling the YOUNG MAN reaches down to kiss her. Slowly ROSIE closes her eyes as she waits expectantly for her lips to meet his.

int. Bedroom - Night

The moon streams through a slit in the solitary windows curtain. The simple room features pictures on the wall of both the YOUNG MAN and ROSIE. ROSIE is sleeping on one side of a double sized bed.

ROSIE awakes abruptly, alone, in a daze, her breathing echoing through the otherwise quiet room. Here appearance would be discribed at disheveled at best. She looks around for a sign of anything out of the normal but everything is still and as it should be. She is obviously disappointed with her awakening.

Breathing shallowly she recoils into the foetal position in an attempt to return to her sleep. Tossing and turning ROSIE is visibly upset, distressed and frustrated in her futile attempts of sleep.

She forces her heavy breathing to subside as she tries to relax herself. Slowly her breathing steadies, the silence within the room is overpowering.

In an attempt to achieve sleep ROSIE scrunches her eyes as tight as her face will allow. Her face relaxes as the tension leaves her clenched face. An inaudible sigh leaves her lips as sleep overcomes her body.

Ext. field - Day

The sun shines hazily onto a field, ROSIE dressed in a simple white flowing dress stands in the middle of the large sparse space. The field is rich in vibrant green grass with trees scattered sporadically throughout the area, off to the distance there is a dense collection of trees with a barely visible creek running through them.

The wind whistles through the field in a whimsical manner, occasionally rustling through the trees. The birds chirp happily as they fly in and out of the leafy trees. Lightly a creek can be heard crackling over rocks in the distance. The tranquillity of the scenery does not go unnoticed by ROSIE as she takes a moment to truly breathe in the fresh air.

ROSIE appears to be searching for someone. Something in the distance captures her attention, an elated smile breaks onto her previously controlled face.

The barely visible YOUNG MAN can be seen in the distance standing in the shadow of a tree. He slowly but confidently steps forward out of the darkness. He is dressed casually but impeccably at the same time.

The YOUNG MAN smiles as he realizes he has been noticed, he looks at her expectantly. He beckons her to him with a smirk playing on his lips.

ROSIE breathes an excited gasp as she begins to run towards the man. Her footsteps barely making a sound as they seem to float across the grass.

As she runs towards him she is elated with joy. Her running is light and carefree as she effortlessly avoids objects. The breeze blows her out of her face as her dress flows behind her elagantly.

As she reaches the YOUNG MAN she stops just short of him and offers him a tentative and shy smile, he opens his arms wide inviting her into a hug. Speaking quietly

YOUNG MAN

i've been wondering when you would make it.

She moves towards him excitedly, eager for his embrace, as she takes a step forward with her arms stretched open she closes her eyes.

As she leans forward with anticipation her hands falls to her sides having seemingly missed their target. Surprised her eyes spring open where she discovers that she is alone.

Complete silence fills the air, the wind no longer rustles in the trees and the birds have mysterisally gone quite. Confused she spins around thinking that he is merely playing a joke on her. Her smile falls from her face as the wind suddenly gushes around her.

She lets out a horrific scream, that is barely audible over the now howling wind, as she begins to urgently spin around in a desperate bid to search for the YOUNG MAN. As she continues to frantically search in every direction the horrific realization that he is nowhere to be found spreads across her face. She drops to her knees with a harsh thud.

On the ground she grasps at the fallen leaves and dirt that surrounds her. The harsh crunching of the leaves can be heard over the wind.

She lets out another scream this time it is saturated with desperation, the scream leads her to begin to sob intensly. Slowly her sobs subside and she begins to focus her attention on what is around her.

In an effort to take her mind off what is happening ROSIE inspects her surroundings, picking up various sticks and leaves that lay around.

A ladybug crawls along a leaf that ROSIE holds in her hand. Intrigued by its beauty she allows it to wander back and forth across her hand.

ROSIE reaches down to pick up a twig that lies next to her, when she returns her glance to her hand, she is horrified to find that there is now a huntsman crawling along her arm. A yelp escapes her lips as she jumps up to shake the creature off.

Puzzled she watches as the spider scurries off into the grass. A branch snapping braeks her attention as she whirls around to see a shadow off a man pass behind a tree.

With determination in her eyes, she begins to jog. Her feet hit the ground with power and intensity, the sounds of sticks breaking can be heard every step she takes. Her eyes focus on the tree that the shadow disappeared behind. She yells after the shadow.

ROSIE

Wait, i'm right here. come back to me.

The YOUNG MAN appears from behind the tree, a smirk continually playing upon his lips. He gives no sign of encouragment for ROSIE to approach although his eyes do not waver for a second in their intense lock on hers.

ROSIE's jog breaks into a run, the grass beneath her feet crumples and the pounding of her steps resonates throughout the field. There is no smile on her face only confusion and concern.

She reaches the YOUNG MAN and this time with no hesitation reaches for him. Only to find that once again his touch is unobtainable, however the man does not disappear like she expects him to; rather he too shows confusion at the lack of her touch. He in turn tries to hold her hand only to find that they he cannot touch her skin either.

As they both stand staring at each other with a look of longing and confusion there is a loud crack behind ROSIE.

She turns for a split second to find that is was nothing but a fallen branch, however when she returns her gaze to where the YOUNG MAN stood there is no trace of him.

Tears well up in her face as she collapses under a tree. She repeatedly slaps herself in a desperate bid to rid herself of this dream.

ROSIE

Wake up rosie damn it! just wake up!

Unable to break the dream she looks around in desperate hope of spying anything that could help her understand what is going on.

The sun is slowly setting as she sees a distant figure move towards the thicker trees. In desperation she runs towards them, opening her mouth to scream but her voice only allows a strangled gurgle sound to come out. As she reaches the area where the figure moved into she finds that there is nobody in sight.

However a glimmer in the distance catches her eye. Hesitatingly she walks towards the glimmer. As she approaches it, the object is revealed to be a beautiful diamond necklace.

Timidly she reaches down and takes the long shinning necklace. The sun catches the diamonds as she inspects it closer. Without a second thought ROSIE undoes the clasp and places it around her neck.

Whilst she is arranging the diamonds into place the sun continues streams through the trees, hitting every leaf along its path until it reaches her eyes. Shutting them out of reflex, she is astounded to find that the necklace has turned to heavy stone. Stuggling under the new found weight ROSIE struggles to remain standing as she attempts to take it off.

Having dropped the now stone necklace onto a tree stump ROSIE is mortified to see a huntsman clamber its way across the stones.

Slowly and silently she backs away from the tree stump. With a crushing crack she collides with a tree. Tentatively turning around afraid of every movement.

EXT. FOREST - Twilight

The fading sunlight streams through the trees and bounces off into intense shadows and light. Reluctantly ROSIE sits on a grassy mound and contemplates her next move. Siting in a cross legged yoga pose, ROSIE attempts to calm her thoughts with deep breathing with her eyes lightly closed.

Her tranquillity is disturbed by a scattering noise around her feet. A solitary ant is slowly making its way up her leg, ROSIE makes a move to flick it off only to find that her hand is covered with small black ants. She hastly brushes them off herself, however the more she swipes the more that appear.

ROSIE looks down at the grass to find that it has turned into a large anthill. Alarmed she springs from the ground and proceeds to dance around in order to get the last of the ants off.

ROSIE runs deeper into the dense trees. The air is still as the sound of birds chirping becomes fainter and fainter. The sound of the creek intensifies over the cracking twigs from ROSIE's footsteps.

ROSIE slows as she reaches a small clearing in the forest. There she is met by a startling sight of a picnic table filled with afternoon treats. The smell of freshly baked scones and warm cupcakes makes her stop in her tracks. Looking around to see if they belong to anyone.

Unable to help herself she grabs a scone, she runs her fingers over the smooth edges. She tentatively breathes in the rich aromas. Hesitating she breaks off a piece and pops it into her mouth. Overcome by the delicious taste she quickly breaks off a larger piece.

Starving she closes her eyes as she takes a bigger bite, to her horror the cupcake is now a handful of worm infested dirt. Dropping the worms she stumbles to the creek to rinse her mouth in the pristine water.

Closing her eyes she throws the water across her face. Rather than the expected splash, a squelching sound resonates through the forest. To ROSIE'S horror her face is covered with mud as thick as paint. Urgently she begins to scrape off the mud as quick as possible.

Fed up with her failing attempts to rid herself of all the mud she grudgingly decides to sit in the middle of the clearing.

EXT. FOREST - NIGHT

The full moon producers a light that is both beautiful and eerie at the same time. The night's sky is clear with stars scattered across it.

Standing in the small clearing next to the picnic table ROSIE spy's the YOUNG MAN walking through the trees.

ROSIE despite her previous experience follows the YOUNG MAN back to the trees. Unaware that it is ROSIE that is following him, the YOUNG MAN turns abruptly at the sound of a breaking branch caused by ROSIE.

He stops in his tracks when he sees her. He cautiously takes a step forward but as he does so ROSIE holds her hand up urging him to come any closer.

The YOUNG MAN looks to the sky ROSIE follows his lead. The stars twinkle through the sky and they both smile. They begin to approach each other as they do ROSIE is brushed in the face by an overhanging branch. As a reflex she brushes her face closing her eyes as she does so.

With an almighty clap the skyies open up in an unforgiving thunderstorm. The sky is brightened by the lightening as the trees ripple under the sound of the thunder.

The rain does not let up as ROSIE darts through the trees in search of shelter. Falling over an exposed tree root into the mud she begins to sink further into the ground. The squelch of the mud is encompassing her as her screams for help can not prevail over the rain.

Desperately she reaches for anything to hold onto. The scrapping of her fingertips can be heard through the wind and rain. The rain is getting lighter, slowing to a light drizzle. However ROSIE is still stuck, after much scrambling her hands reaches a branch and she quickly pulls herself to safety.

Terrified ROSIE ambles through the dark forest stumbling every so often, the trees growing sparse as she sees the open field in the distance.

EXT. FIELD - NIGHT

ROSIE stumbles into an area showered with rose petals. In the moonlight they can be seen to be beautiful healthy red petals. At this point she is no longer shocked rather amused at the absurd nature of her findings.

She confidently picks one up and closes her eyes. As she expects when she opens her eyes the petal is black and crumpled. She continues along picking up petals and closing her eyes. As each one dies she begins to laugh.

Accidentally she picks up a blade of grass, curious she blinks and opens her eyes to find a leech in her hand. Laughing she throws the leech on the ground. She lazily picks up a large twig then closes her eyes, she lets out a scream before she opens her eye. A snake slithers out from her grasp as her eyes widen. She backs away quickly angrily kicking rocks as she goes.  

Without closing her eyes ROSIE begins to angrily throw anything she can into the direction of the forest. Each throw increases the intensity of the last. The smashing of the rocks on the ground echoes through the field bouncing off the trees and resonating where ROSIE stands. The more she throws the angrier she becomes until tears well up in her eyes.

Exhausted and frustrated ROSIE seeks refuge under the nearest tree. Trembling she hugs her knees staring into the dense forest waiting for any movement. Slowly rocking herself back and forth she lets out a whimper of frustration.

Holding the remaining rose petals she closes her eyes tight. The sounds of the night enclose upon her, the pounding of the rain on the tree tops, the screech of an owl and the howl of the wind through the trees prompt her to close her eyes tight and wait until morning.

EXT. FIELD - Morning

ROSIE is fast asleep under the same tree that is now scattered with healthy rose petals. Dazed she is woken by a voice speaking her name slowly coxing her out of her slumber.

YOUNG MAN

Rosie...rosie...Rosie

He begins to stroke her face his touch making her eyes flicker open. Upon seeing the face of the YOUNG MAN she is elated but is careful not to close her eyes. The YOUNG MAN presents a rose to ROSIE, smiling she accepts and the two sit cross legged face to face basking in the sunshine that accompanies their presence.

The YOUNG MAN and ROSIE lay down in the field with rose petals encompassing them. Their conversation is obviously intense and meaningful as the music swells around them.

With the help of the YOUNG MAN, ROSIE is able to transcend back into the real world by closing her eyes one last time.

YOUNG MAN (Voice over)

I am will always be here, whenever you wont to see me again. Just open your eyes.

int. Bedroom - Morning

ROSIE awakes slowly from her sleep. The bed is messed up implying a restless night of sleep. Daylight streams through the crack in the curtain. The bustle of life can be heard faintly from the street below.

She casually runs her fingers through her hair. To her surprise she slowly pulls a rose petal out of her hair. Initially she is confused; however the slight frown on her face grows to a small smile.

Throwing herself back against her pillow she holds the petal to her heart. She closes her eyes as a smile spreads itself across her face.

Chase Scene

Chase Scene By Jana and Mia


8 Shot Chase scene throughout uni. This piece works quite well and was very interesting in creating shot sequences.